12 BRILLIANTS FAST FIXES FOR CHRISTMAS

So, you’re dressed in your loudest and about stepping out and there’s this silly impediment getting in your way and if you’re just like me, this groove is one you won’t want to miss, where else would you be given express go ahead to dance nonstop, grrr...rrrrr!

Well my fellow ‘partylites’, I have got just the right solution for your troubles. Hold on tight to these twelve wacky fixes, am sure it would offer you some source of comfort.

You’d find them totally brrrrrilliant.

      Babe when you have a splinter hindering you from wearing your those favourites shoes, here’s a sure solution.

Put a piece of ripe banana skin pulp-side down on the affected area and cover it with a bandage. The enzymes from the banana peel will draw out the splinter.

      When your nose is dripping like it’s a new tap (lol) simply snort a handful of salt water, (this helps to dry your nasal passage) and blow your nose, that should take care of you for a while.

      Are you hit with cramps? Warm up a wet soft fabric in a micro wave for about 30 seconds, once it’s a little warm, lay it on your tummy for a while to lessen your discomfort.

      You can’t stop coughing? Try mimicking sucking on a large cough, this will assist you generate enough saliva to coat your throat. Any problems with this, try drinking warm water in bits.

      Stressed and tensed neck and shoulders? Try relaxing them by turning your head 90 degrees to the left, then to the right. Then bob your head up and down slowly. Lastly tilt your head from side to side. Repeat this ten times.

      You’ve got itchy eyes? That reeks of allergies! Simply splash cold water on open eyes. Whatever got in could be washed out that way.

      Woo... Babe the size of that Zit!  Run hot water over a metal spoon for ten minutes, then press the underside on it, it will put off the pimple for a couple of minutes and reduce its size when it shows up again.

      You feel like you are going to be sick (i.e. throw up), simply prepare a ginger drink; this will help calm your tummy.

      Woke up with puffy eyes? Wrap ice blocks in tiny towels and place them over closed eyes for about...um... a minute.

      Itchy from mosquito bites? Mint tooth paste placed over the affected spot will deaden the itching.

      Tooth ache? Awww....I got the feeling .try gargling salt water for 30 seconds, this will help lessen the pain for a while.

      Bloodshot eyes? Simply splash cold water over closed eyes.

People I’ll add one extra for the road

      Bro, are you getting a bit tipsy? Lol... eat something greasy like chips , fried plantains (you know that way?) the fat would help  slow alcohol absorption and sober you up.

It’s the season for parties,

You’d definitely want to keep these cures handy.

Merry Christmas

Your gist mate

Shy!

SANTA- MYTH!

Finally exams are over and two days back, I decided to visit the mall closest to where I live. Oh my, I was reliving the magic of Christmas just window shopping and watching kids run around excitedly until I heard this voice (must be a bitter pimple faced adult) deliver these lines ‘Santa is a lie! Why people lead their kids to believe in him at all is beyond me. ‘I didn't get to see the person who spoke per Se but I got a glimpse of a child in a red jacket scream in protest.

Wait! Don’t arch your eye brows yet, he only told the undiluted truth, I know!

 And the facts are:

 No child is ever going to have a troubled childhood because he or she isn't made to believe in a myth. Were we to continue along this path, it is even more deceptive when one observes the long queues these kids have to endure all because they want to take picture with the guy in a fat suit?  It all seems to be a waste of money and time in the long run!

But what that poor kid endured in the few seconds of being denied the gift of seeing Santa is so heart wreaking I am inclined to think telling  the truth at all is a waste.

This left me wondering-what happened to the saying let kids be kids?, didn't we have our fair share of fun filled childhoods when Tom and Jerry were real life characters and sesame street was an actual street (we hoped to visit one day) existing in the united states of America.

 The tooth fairy was a pretty lady who lived near the setting sun and she was in charge of picking our baby tooth and paying us heavily if we brushed them well before they fell out!(laugh out loud)

LIES! I know but it sets the pace for us to reminisce about those days of blissfully living without a care in the world and it set the pace that gives us the right to believe that dreams can come true (so many of ours have).

All this ‘Santa is lie’ controversy just ruins the fun!

 Besides I believed in Santa till I was six. (A rather early age for me to stop disbelieving in Santa) The local Rotary club district made the mistake of putting my very light skinned father in a fat suit (lol)! Of cause I knew it was my father immediately he said ‘hello’ (and mom explained later about the myth thingy) so I only prided myself on knowing it was a myth earlier than most. This didn't ruin me either, it only endeared the carol-I saw mommy kissing Santa clause to heart.

Enough with the cynicism and let’s let the kids’ have fun!

  

                     

             Ankara na the new craze!

Babes remember those days when we used to consider the Ankara as old fashion, remember the styles it often came in-frumpy bubus and buba/blouses and wrappers, ughh... those days are fast fading into stories that would seem unbelievable were we to tell our younger ones. Neighbours either believed you had a poor sense of fashion or ‘you no get money!’ if you were caught alive wearing them. English cotton, silk, linens were the rave then, western! Was what iconic people wore, Full stop.

  These days, hmm (signs) classy means Ankara, vogue means knowing how to combine it in a show stopping way and for people like me-my tailor (opps!) Fashion designer don enter wahala o ( is in trouble) but who is he to complain about the revolutionary styles I often demand for ranging from casual to formal even evening wears. As long as he brings it on, I reciprocate by ignoring his plenty charges!

This year particularly has seen the Ankara material take an iconic stand among Americans and British pop musicians. Even the runways in Paris hasn't been spared and my babes it is yet to end o...as most indigenous designers at home has stretched its use in making handbags, shoes and a whole lot more. look around

My sisters it is my submission that our fashion has come to stay, Ankara is the new craze and we’re taking the world by storm!
In fact we don already arrive (in fact we've taken over).

Yours in gist,

Shy.

  LIVE, LOVE & LEARN,   GROW & SHARE 

"By the time we leave for work, Americans have depended on the inventions from the minds of Blacks."

           -Martin Luther king JR.

Come with me; let’s take a long leisurely stroll into a twilight zone, a world without black contributions!

·       There will be no sky scrapers because Alexander mils wouldn’t have existed to invent the elevator

·       There wouldn’t have been an automatic gearshift because Richard Spikes was black

·       Loads of accidents and chaos cause Garret A. Morgan wouldn’t have lived to invent the traffic signal and

·       Joseph Gambol, wouldn’t be there to invent the Super Charge System for Internal Combustion Engines

·       Furthermore, we would not avail of the rapid transit system because its procurer was the electric trolley, which was invented by Albert R.Robinson-another black man!

·       Every street would have been dirty! Because Charles Brooks invented the street sweeper

·       John love invented the pencil sharpener, so we need not use a knife and William Purvey invented the fountain pen

·        Lee Barrage invented the type writing Machine and W.A.Love invented the Advanced printing press. yeah you guessed it right...and they were Black

·       Even if people still wrote letters, articles and books, they would not be transported by mail because William Barry invented the postmarking and cancelling machine

·       William Purvey invented the hand stamp and Philip Downing invented the letter drop.

·       Those pretty lawns you see? They’d be ug-gu-ly, brown and wilted cause Joseph smith wouldn’t have invented the lawn mower

·       Our homes would have been poorly heated and unventilated cause there’d be no Frederick Jones to invent the Air Conditioner and in Europe sooooo cold cause Alice parker would live to invent the heating furnance.

·       Our homes would have been soo dim cause Lewis Lattimer later invented the electric lamp,

·       Michael Harvey the lantern and Granville T.Woods the Automatic cut off switch

·       We would have had filthy homes because Thomas W.Steward invented the mop  and P.Ray the dust pan

·       Children wouldn’t have looked so good cause Jan E.Matzelinger invented the shoe lasting machine and Walter Sammons invented the comb.

·       Might be we’d all have ironed on the floor or on tables but Sarah Boone invented the ironing board and George T.Samon invented the clothes dryer.

Ah here we are a table at last, alas! The food is spoilt because John standard invented the Refrigerator.

What Black History Month Means to me as an African

                                    What Black History Month Means to me as an African?

"A people without the knowledge

Of their past history, origin and culture,

Is like a tree without roots."

                                                                      - The Rt. Hon. Marcus Garvey

Yeah right! Ask that question out loud, I thought I heard you ask-are you black American? Celebrating black history month is more than just being American or British! It’s more to do with identifying with who you are! Be you a black-American, black-British, black–Caribbean, Black -African, Black-Irish, Black-Scottish...am I making some sense here?

Walk with me,

Fela Ransom-Kuti ,Bob Marley, Chinua Achebe and Maya Angelou, Wole Soyinka , Nelson Mandela, Mary,J.B, Angelique kidjo, India Irie ,Jill Scot, Gladys knight ,Aretha Franklin, Lauryn Hill ,Akon, Wyclef jean, Don Omar, Alexander Burke, Beyonce, Jay-z, Mitchell and Barak Obama, Rihanna, Drake, Fally pupa, Tracy Chapman, Neyo, Desmond Tutu, Malcolm X, Martin Luther king, Adele Emeli Sandé, Christopher Robert Iwelumo, Olaudah Equiano,Phil Lynott,Samantha Mumba... now do you get my drift ?

Common!

Black History Month started in 1926 in the United States it was instituted by Carter G Woodson as a way of responding to the view that the Black Americans and people of African descent had made no significant contribution to human civilisation. In the United States it is celebrated in February of every year.

 Black History Month was first celebrated in the UK in 1987, as a way of exposing black teenagers to their rich cultural heritage, which is not often exposed or celebrated in mainstream history! In recent times it has become a time to celebrate our ancestry as Africans. It is celebrated every month of October.

Now open your minds to some facts, as this is a time to engage in thought provocative entertainment, the likes that connects you to your inner being and liberates your mind in hopes of deep insight.

There would have been nothing like black history month, if millions of Africans had not been forcibly shipped into slavery, disseminated to various parts of the world and had their ancestral memory wiped or hidden from them!

There would have been nothing like Black history month, If Black achievements, the Nubian pharaohs, the West African Empires and others had not been ignored in conventional history. We needn’t have bothered with these special measures to restore our worth and stir up motivation among our people.

If black entertainers, sport people, poets and writers, Black achievers of diverse nations ,were not repeatedly and exclusively paraded and proclaimed as notable "role models" as though the Arts ,entertainments and sports were the only areas where black people have or could excel; then perhaps there would have been no point to Black History Month!

If Black History hadn’t been sidelined, subjected to distortion, denial, and deconstruction there would have been no point celebrating black history month.

Got it?

Black history month is a time to promote our history and experience, ours is a story of resilience and perseverance, a time to disseminate information on positive contributions attained by black people; it is most of all a time to heighten awareness and certitude in the richness of our cultural heritage!

This is a chance to revel in our blackness, a chance to get on with that swag God gave us naturally and roll whatever shade you might be -Hot chocolate, Brown- sugar, Tan, Cream, Whipped cream...(LOL), we know us when we see us! It’s in our walk...our talk...in our dance ...OUR COMMON ROOTS!

Your Gist Mate,

Shy

Hello every body! its Black history month

Answers! I need answers

                                                    Answers! I need answers

As we celebrate our 52^nd independence day, I am curled up dreaming on my bed, sulking actually! It’s raining out here, really cold! But bearable at least as I am indoors and thankfully do not intend to go out, so here I ‘am sulking and wondering when I’d ever get answers to these questions that keep reoccurring in my head. I have tried to shake them off all day, to no avail.

So now, yours truly is compelled to write these questions that bother me, on a day am supposed to be proudly dressed in a green dress complete with white stilettos, I am moved by an intensity that burns, a vehemence that I can taste on my lips and a deep regret that makes me pace my room to and fro, wondering if there are like minds tortured by the need for answers like me.

·         Can Nigeria claim to be truly integrated as a nation? Recent security challenges and terrorism has become the order of the day and it is disguised as activism. It has become clear that the high and mighty in society aid this ugly trend with impunity.

·         We were a nation that survived solely on Agriculture ans so I ask, how did we suddenly walk into the farce of depending only on petroleum? Where are the groundnut pyramids, the cocoa plantations and the rubber farmers?

·         Where are the visionaries? Don't they exist in Nigeria? Tenure elongation has become an accepted norm, most administrations turn despotic, in a bid to secure more time to loot public funds, it is disgusting to see religious leaders become their allies despite their open fraudulence.

·         What is the hope for the Nigerian youth dreams, aspiration and vision! Where is our voice in all of this-has it ever mattered?

·         And the Nigerian police? They are a farce!  We all in open agreement believe they ought to be stuck out. Re-branding is a waste of a word on them! The impunity with which they throw caution to the winds while demanding for twenty Naira notes is an eye sore to put it mildly.

Face book didn't do its magic for me today; yours truly has a friend who seems to shares the same need for answers, only he had dared to address us all in his literary best! With his kind permission, I quote;

‘...The Nigerian Government is the best in the world. Who is Obama where Jonathan stands? With all his good luck as well? Our able Politicians have put policies in place to ensure the rights of every Nigerian are upheld. Kidnapping? No kidnapping. With the police we have any oyibo can walk the streets of warri without fear. Bribes have been quashed. Nobody touches it anymore. Yes that is Nigeria for you.Em..., barman abi is it barmen. Give me more of that vodka!’

Well Vodka no be my size, so I have ordered a pint of Guinness! Abi? My people I deserve to smile today o, weather the devil like am or not! As Santosh Kalwar says,

                 “I was smiling yesterday, I am smiling today and I will smile tomorrow.

                            Simply because life is too short to cry for anything”

Yours in gist

Shy

A rose by any name is still a Rose

                                          A rose by any name is still a Rose

                                           People who are unable to motivate themselves,

                                                                        Must be content with mediocrity

                                                             No matter how impressive, their other talents.

                                                                                              - Andrew Carnegie

When I was little my mother told me a little bed time story about an Agama lizard who spent a whole day from the break of dawn till sunset trying to climb an Iroko tree, each animal greeted him as they made their way to the market place and by noon, the Agama lizard had earned the reputation of a time waster! After all why would any right thinking person spend his whole day trying to climb the tallest tree in the forest? To what end was this act of his?

Finally the Agama lizard got to the top of the iroko tree and heaved in relief when he climbed down. By the time he got down, there were no spectators awaiting his return, only people murmuring about his stupid act.

The Agama nodded left and nodded right feeling bad but on second thought he lifted his head high and stunted all the way home feeling real good with himself. The tortoise stared at him in astonishment and asked him the reason for the smug look on his face.

‘Oh o, replied the Agama with a wider smile, I just figured out how happy one feels when you do something for self gratification sake.

 ‘My friend, he continued’ do not live to please the world!  I have just climbed the tallest tree in the jungle, I never thought I could accomplish this feat, nobody thought I could either, this pleases me so much, to know I could, and if nobody clap’s for me or praises this accomplishment, I can as well praise myself!  

 Sometimes, Life places us in the Agama lizard’s shoes. Leading us as outcasts on a road only we seem to understand, our dreams (whatever it might be) the ultimate reward. Words become a mountain of impasse, making it seem harder to climb and strange as it may seem, the steady kindness of strangers feeds us strength against the resistance we face from those we wish will come to understand.

It has never been an easy task withstanding the pressures of people’s opinion especially those closest to us. Even the best of people had at one point or the other found them -selves crippled by people’s opinions and denied an exploration of their inner selves. The key is to never give up!

Another is to learn to give ourselves the gift of self motivation. To learn to keep up in high spirits no matter what the situation we find ourselves is. Yes a little cry is healthy now and then but after that make out time to focus, strategize and move!

Tonight I intend light a candle, play some Asa or lauryn hill, curl up on my favourite couch and just let music’s titillating effects swirl around me. I intend to Meditate and explore deeply these thoughts that pull’s me towards self motivation. For it is my submission, that self motivation is after all a strong ingredient needed for self preservation in this crazy world of ours.

 Tomorrow... With these thoughts still ringing loud and clear, I’d wake up rejuvenated in spirit, mind and body, knowing  ‘I can’ in every sense of the word. Yes bruised, battered, caught below the belt by the world’s resistance, I’d lift my feet to face the world with all the radiance I can muster!

After all whatever fanciful name is coined to differentiate a species of rose from another, whether it be called an African desert rose to the usual hibiscus flower, commonly known as the ‘rose of Sharon’, each will fade once it is identified as a Rose.

Yes ’A Rose by any name is still a rose!

A Queen

                  A Queen
    
A voice dares me to be different
Calls on me to be a pioneer-a leader
One who faces adversity,embraces life
And walks fearlessly facing my challenges
It says
"I dare you to be a queen!"

A voice troubles me to seek the truth
Urges me to rule my domain with a loving heart
Cajoles me to be tender
Impresses on me the need to birth new ideas
It says
"I aim to make you a queen!"

 A voice instructs me to rejoice in my womanhood!
To rise beyound it all
Battery, assualts and social expectations
And reach within for that which
is buried within
it tells me 
"You are a queen."