Friday, 8 February 2013

 Femme-strong (1); Conquering our moments of weakness

     ‘If an eagless  doesn't realize its capabilities it will one day accept a cork as its king’  

When I was little my mom used to tell me stories to distract me from the pain I experienced each time she groomed my hair, there was this particular story I and my siblings begged her to tell one time too many, back then it was because we loved to chant the chorus that went with a song she often sang some place in the middle of the story. I never got to understand the true lessons behind the story until I recanted this story during my National youth service year at a burn–fire night and years later each time I encounter rough patches and need a boost of inspiration.
There once was an Eaglet who fell down from the skies while practicing how to fly, in the process it sustained a very terrible injury that left it unconscious. Luckily for the Eaglet, Mother Hen was strolling past on her way to visit a friend and after several attempts to search for its mother decided to take the Eaglet home. Weeks later she adopted Eaglet as one of her children.
In the years to come, Eaglet grew up to become a very beautiful Eagless, with very dark feathers and a beautiful while tail, she had a strong beak, strong claws and eyes that sighted every detail from afar,though she had a slight limp but she could still fly a bit higher than her siblings. This made her Siblings very jealous and because of this, they took to bullying and teasing her mercilessly because she was different from them all. ‘Just look at her extra large claws and her funny protruded beak-leave here you darkie! They would say whilst they played and Eagless would walk off in tears to sit by her mom -‘Mom, I  don’t know why they hate me so, as much as I  try to please them they still make fun of me so much it hurts-why?’, Eagless mother always had a simple reply ‘It’s because you are special, that is why.’
One day, Eagless went out hunting with its siblings and sported a young handsome Cock that lived near its former home strutting past, having been in love with this Cock ever since its spurs had grown, she had hoped he would one day ask her hand in marriage but to her greatest dismay, he strutted past her, flapped his wings once or twice and in its best voice crowed in invitation at her younger sister! Eagless had just about had it, so she confronted the Cock immediately. To her utmost surprise the Cock laughed out loud and replied ‘there is no way I can be married to you, you are an Eagless not a Hen! Once said the Cock strutted ahead of her crowing at intervals. The Eagless burst into bitter tears, refused to go hunting and returned home crying bitterly. When she laid her complains before her mother she got the same reply-‘don’t cry my dear, it’s because you are special!’
Days after the incidence Eagless kept wondering, how can I be an Eagless? I know I fly higher than most birds around but not as high as an Eagle talk-more of an Eagless. Aren’t Hen-eagles supposed to be the highest flying birds amongst birds? ...hmmn even if I were one my deformity wouldn’t grant me that capability! One day Mother hen heard her asking these questions aloud and in a loud voice replied-‘It is time!’
The next day she took her to a large field and asked her’ do you remember what I always tell you each time you cry? ‘Yes mama’, replied Eagless somewhat curious as to what was to follow, ‘it is time you start practising the act of flying higher than you ever can- there are capabilities within you that must not lay fallow’ concluded Mother Hen walking back home. Every day Eagless returned home, she always had one complaint or another ‘but Mama... she would say, I feel too heavy ...but Mama...I don’t think I can go higher....and her favourite complaint was...but mama, I have a deformity! But Mother Hen Always had one single reply for her-‘my child there are capabilities within you that must not lay fallow even with your limp.’
One day a determined Eagless set to the field and discovered its potentials- that she was indeed an Eagless and that she could fly higher than her male counterpart despite her limp! And a day came when she had to choose her mate she put him to a test not unlike one of its kind and to the Eagle who flew almost as high as she could she choose to give her heart and bear him children.
In times when I feel uncertain and my insecurities seem to get the better of me, I always glean strength from this simple thought- that there will always be adversities, some place, somewhere, with another person but the worse adversity to accommodate within oneself is the one within and this we must never give room for as individuals.
It is at such points in life that we must draw on our inner strengths and bear in mind that such worries whatever they might be would soon become ‘yesterday’s worries’ and new ones would always arise, so what is the point of worrying continually? As life has always been this way and would continue to be.
We must give room for changes, sometimes I am up to my ears in plans-plan A didn’t work, plan B isn’t feasible but it doesn’t make me from attempting a plan C or D up to an F, if possible. Whatever changes I make to fit life’s condition I learn to adjust to and deem myself smart enough to work my way through those changes.
There was a time when I worried too much for my young heart and thought I was Atlas’s double. Everywhere I went I carried my conflicts within myself until ‘living’ itself became a burden but I was lucky to make met the Alabi sisters who set the record straight in my case and made me draw that inner strength I  never knew I  possessed. Lisa would tell me real stories, of real people just like my mother told me folklores and prepped me with proverbs; ‘Fire is the true test of Gold just as adversity is the true test of man’ used to be her favourite at a time. Hellene often left me with tiny tasks and asked me (one time too many) to adopt role models as many as I can.
I have over time adopted many (as unconventional as I am) and I have through them learnt that I can turn my imperfections into benefits. I have learnt that that there is no special act to this as it just involves a determined mind set and strong will power.
If you stick close by, I will gist you more about this when next we meet...
Your gist mate