Wake up and smell the coffee...

Was it three days ago I last took a bus ride to the city center? Yeah it was!

By God I almost wanted to slap the smirk off this ridiculous boy’s face not only for the nasal way he spoke but the way he delivered his verbal blow to whom ever he was speaking aloud to on phone.

 ‘Oh  Gawd! Are you crying? Look Rachael (he says picking his goatee theatrically and making a public spectacle of his self) I hate it when girls cry when they told the truth? Why do you girls cry? Fine...fine. I will visit our daughter but don’t start thinking you’d get a second chance.’ He murmured before pressing the red button, pocketing his mobile phone and getting off the bus at the next stop.

‘Second chance? It was either Rachael didn't have her head screwed on right, had poor taste in men or the guy was deluded’.

Of the first speculation, I was certain! Jeez, what do you expect from a guy who feels he looks hot gabbed in faded blue jean that would soon be responsible for a grand fall should he miss a step at any point because he hadn't the common sense to acknowledge his waist  is situated just after his torso. As far as that guy was concerned, his waist was where his hips ought to be and if you asked him he looked cool ‘cause he was (what do they call it?) sagging.

By noon, sitting down in the cafeteria, I couldn't help but hear snatches of this fine young man’s animated conversation(fine its not like am going around not minding  my business but people, the ears can’t help but pick on conversations, especially when you are alone !)

‘No, no no! I've been through this so many times; I can no longer stand it. She lashes at me verbally all the time and for nothing...I leave... she apologizes ...I let her back and the circle continues the same old mess! What in God’s name did I do to deserve the way she treats me?’ he asked in a pained voice

At this point it occurred to me that as people, We naturally will never get hurt by just any body, in converse when we are hurt, broken hearted, it is by those who we have opened our hearts to... It seems every body around me have love problems today I thought as I packed my half eaten sandwich and proceeded to class in a hurry, and just before the poor guy noticed I was listening in, on his conversation but you see people this sets the background for our gist today-How do we protect our hearts?, how do we prevent our hearts from going through needless pain and tears, the aftermath of which is often self doubt in most cases.

My gist today is for the broken hearted that expectant trusting heart whose wish will never be fulfilled. This is for that individual curled up like a fist at night, sucking on his or her thumb, your heart in tatters wondering to his or her self-‘where did I go wrong?

I’d tell you where you went wrong!

 You went wrong when you condoled that inferior feeling your partner meted out to you and thought you could change him or her. How on earth do you think you can change a full grown person without his or her consent?

 Has it ever occurred to you that he or she may be so steeped in that habit and is satisfied with living life that way? Pu-leez!

Isn't it clear enough that what you need to do is remove your self from the situation? So these pains would be healed. How on earth do you expect happiness when you have refuse to distance your self from that person who causes you soo much pain, it’s a wonder he or she claims to love you.

Some of us has formed a habit if rehearsing pain, so that we truly forget what we deserve thus sacrificing our self worth on alters of self expectations! I term it ‘self expectation’ because only you seem to see these expectations because of what ‘only’ you feel- your partners never share these visions for them selves because they don’t share your feelings and will never treat you better.

So he compares you to another and calls it candidness, you are always the recipient at the wrong end of the stick, yet you suck it up and keep trying to meet your partners yardstick, that which he/her hasn’t and will never meet. Wake up and smell the coffee Darling, you’d never meet it!

 The heart that is meant to love you will NEVER compare you to another, so why over look this? Continually waiting on the possibility that it will one day be different?

He’s apologized severally and each time it happens again the beatings get worse. He’s even found ways to pin the reason for his actions on you! One by one he sheds you of your acquaintances, close friends and family members. Can’t you see that the reason he doesn’t get along with them at all is that he needs to isolate you so he can do with you what he pleases?

You’ve walked out severally on that partner that’s kept your heart going on an emotional roller coaster, yet you treat that relationship like a set of revolving door you can’t do without.

Do you think that individual never expected you back? Of cause he/she did. The minute you said you were through, they knew you’d be back-apologies and all!

Your walking out never made an impact in the first place-you know why? Because that person knew you’d be back, that’s why. So each time you walked out, they considered it a break. Soon you’d be back for a fix of them! You re conditioned to having them treat you like they do, it’s like it’s a fix, only you don’t know this...Hmmn and you wonder why they cant change.

Change has to start with you ...yes I said with you.

First you’ve got to make up your mind to take that step towards transition! You’ve got to step out of that situation that you swore you’d never go back to and begin to believe you can do better. Hey it doesn’t matter how many years you’ve invested.

You’ve got to base your decision on their actions and stop listening to words. Such individuals have the potential to weave words like webs around you and the fact is that they know it! How many times have you heard old folks say that ‘actions speak louder than words? Take me serious people...it applies here.

You got to learn to let go of how you feel for such persons, stop giving chances to that individual who keeps taking advantage of your forgiveness! Stop searching for reasons, Stop making excuses, building possibilities in your head... Stop praying and asking God to heal those wounds or proffer a solution because deep down you know what it is. He’s already shown you!

Remember, in today’s world we have a duty towards our selves, one of which is to protect our heart.

You’d be hearing from me soonest,

Your gist mate

Shy